Lord knows that God put me in a family of really good people that I guess during those times meant to do the best for all of us.
I had 7 cousins and at the age of 10 had a baby brother. That was a big adjustment. All my 10 yrs of life I was daddys little girl but yet his buddy. Then all of a sudden we had Hi. I wouldnt say I was totally put on the back burner, but I was not the shining star of my mom and dad anymore which really made me very envious of Hi. I know those feelings shouldnt be there and that I had their adorn attention for 10 years uninterrupted. But when it comes to a hault all of a sudden at that age you are totally confused.
Also the confusion was also brought about by mom getting very sick. It was a time then that I didnt understand. Was just told it was incurable and that she would get weaker as time went on and not to upset her. Well at age 10 lots of things and questions are in a little girl and young ladies mind. All little lady questions about body changing and boys and just girl questions that come between moms and little girls. This was hard and my dad was not the kind of man that answered little girl questions very well. I finally got told my mom had Multiple Sclerosis which they still havent found a cure for yet. It was the deteriation of the nervous system which you lose control of muscle all muscle eventually. There were not any medications back then at all.
No known causes as of today. Speculations on what caused it. It isnt hereditary and is thought to be a virus. I was kinda lost my mom and I grew very close and she was such an active person during my first decade of life. She kept up for as long as she could. Little Hi became more of my son when I grew older and I felt very tied down. Having to take him to school, birthday parties, to the club for golf lessons, etc. I thought the weight of the world was on my shoulders. I was not a real happy person for a few years after that. I rebelled and the Lord knows was a selfish person to do that to both my parents and my extended family and most of all Hi, BUT I did.
My parents went through lots of turmoil and struggles with the disease. I guess it ruined their marriage. They both were unable to heal it. My dad drank and ran around and my mom just got sicker. It ended after 27 yrs of marriage in divorce. He sold his share of the farm and remarried and moved to Florida. Dad did take care of mom, as I did and grandpa did too. We finally were transfered to Texas then NC and at the age of 57 in 1980 my sweet mom passed away. I felt so quilty about moving away and not being closer during the last couple years of her life. I dont think my dad ever forgave himself for being so selfish and being a coward not to face the music with mom. He always still deep in his heart at his death, bed confessed that he always loved mom and never stopped he just couldnt find a cure for her. He also said he was so stupid to leave the farm and to persue a life other then the farm. He missed his brothers and the closeness and stability they gave one another. Also selling out our inheritance he was so sorry. I could have cared less. And forgave him. If he could only do things over. It was so sad. He passed of cancer in 1990 almost 10 yrs to the day of moms passing.
Mom is buried in THE LEXINGTON CEMETARY in the Nuckols plot in Lexington, Kentucky and Dad is buried in Sunset Memorial Gardens beside his wife Patty just outside Melbourne, Florida.
I miss them everyday. Both in different ways but both lovingly. They tried to make the best out of a horrible situation. The memories I have of both are cute and fun and some sad but most of all my childhood was fairly happy. Its amazing how tragedies can change and sometime destroy a family. It takes lots of courage, love and patience to make families work and lots of forgiveness. I tell you this from experience because I have lived it. But we live through it and smile at the great moments and learn from the bad ones. OK enough of the morbid stuff tomorrow more fun stuff. Love my family--- they all mean the world to me. My brother Hi will never know I guess how proud and how much I love him. Its a shame we dont communicate anymore then we do but we dont. He is my only beginning family that I have left.
My sweet family give me the reason to keep on going. I love them all. I have a special moments in my heart for each of them. Its my love for them that makes me happy!!!
See you tomorrow with more!!